Home to 5 users
Who authored 150 statuses

Welcome, neighbor. Glad you could join us today! (Yes, that's a Mister Rogers quote!)

Guidelines

This site is about providing a safe, supportive peer community, where people can express themselves; find their unique voice and share their story at their own pace; find and offer empathy, love, acceptance, and support; and advocate and organize to fight oppression, exploitation, victimization, and abuse, in its various forms.

Quite a few of the subjects we need to talk about will probably be pretty heavy. Taking a deep breath and facing these head-on may be the most effective way to deal with them, but we will likely also need to pace ourselves. Posting lighter content, such as cute pictures of animals and babies, is certainly welcome as well. 😀

As much as possible, I ("Uyakon") would like to encourage thoughtful conversations that are both intellectually and emotionally intelligent. I realize, though, that when dealing with heavy-duty emotions, thinking rationally may sometimes be out of reach. And that's OK.

Active listening will be an important skill here. Try to listen to understand, not just to respond.

In general, try to stick to the main purpose of this site. This is not a dating app, for example. Nor are we here to sell things. There may be exceptions occasionally, but these are the general guidelines.

We are not professionals. If someone needs professional mental health treatment, for instance, please refer them to a suitable mental health professional.

Rules

Don't be evil.

Hate speech is not allowed. The definition of "hate speech" that I propose is: any form of communication expressing or promoting hostility toward any individual or group that does not deserve it.

Certainly, recognizing the patterns and trends that exist within a particular group can be valuable and helpful. Anger at an institution for institutionalized problems is also perfectly valid. When dealing with individuals, though, I think it's important to treat each person according to his/her/their own character and inherent worth as a human being. Just because a particular moral fault is generally characteristic of a group of individuals, does not necessarily mean that every individual within that group has the same shortcoming.

For instance, I've heard some say that "there is no such thing as a good cop." I don't believe that's true. Yes, the law enforcement system in America is broken. Yes, there are many bad cops out there, doing bad things -- perhaps more now than there have been in a long time. But there are also good cops, who join the ranks out of a desire to do good -- for example, to work with social workers to help children caught in abusive family situations. (I am open to correction on this, though, if you have enough evidence to prove me wrong.)

Nazis, on the other hand, are evil as a movement. They are a hate group at the very core of their identity. (See definition of "hate speech," above.) There is more than enough information available out there at this point in history, that anyone joining a Nazi or neo-Nazi group should know these things.

This site is not the place for explicitly violent content, nor for sexually explicit content. Certainly no illegal or child pornography. No harassment, flame wars, trolling, or the like. Always act in good faith.

Respect others' boundaries, and be careful about posting things that might traumatize someone else. If someone indicates that what you are saying, or how much detail you are going into, is problematic for them or makes them uncomfortable, be less specific or stop talking about that subject with them, as appropriate. If you still need to talk more about it, a qualified mental health professional may be your best option.

Don't be afraid to state hard truths here, within the above guidelines. A personal example: Fundamentalist Christianity really damaged me ("Uyakon") while I was a part of it. And I have a whole long list of specific reasons why. It's OK to talk about those sorts of things here. Often, we need to be able to talk about these things, in order to heal and move forward. However, that doesn't mean that it's OK to beat people over the head with stuff just to hurt them.

Making deliberate false accusations is not OK. That is not at all the same thing as justified criticism, though!

Don't use this site to distribute spam; to impersonate any other user; to share or distribute pirated music, movies, etc. Do not attempt to hack, probe, or Denial-of-Service-attack this site. Etc.

Finally:

Take courage. You are not alone. There are lots of other people like you out there. Good people. Kind people. As well as people who are well-intentioned, but who may need to be educated further on how to relate to certain others. If they are willing to listen, perhaps you can help educate them. 💪